The cooling whisper of sea sung through my very fingertips. The chill alerted me that I was awake and that it had happened. Down, down the murky depths far into shadows and  rocky corners, through blades of spiralling seaweed, below a school of fish -he lay. 

If my heart were to be sung aloud, not even a single word would come forth. I was wiped clean of thought, of feeling. All feeling was lost aside from my cold fingertips whilst sea breeze unrelentingly, battered against my face. 

Words of love he had once told me. All of which washed through me, onto the sand. It was as though he had never spoken them in the first place. Like he never was mine. And worse still, like I was never his. Such memories I wished would not again re-surface, but tomorrow the tide would wash them back once more. Night after night after night. 

In those nights, I  would find myself washed out in depths of despair. For I could not fight the current. No strength remained and not a breath was given. I drowned in it. In these memories that had been but were no more. He, that person of love and life had pulled me. He might as well taken me with him. He might as well taken my hand and pushed me over the edge and dragged me down into the salty depths of the sea with him. Down, down into the sea to drown with him.

Should I have known that is what he had intended? To drown himself in the dark abyss ahead. He had gone to that strange place and he had done so without me. His person. 

I waited upon dunes of sand for the day he would re-emerge. So he could tell me it was an accident and hold me in his arms. That I had told myself, was a hopeless dream, but what I wished was reality. 


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